On the Red Carpet at the Golden Globes

January 21st, 2010

(Today’s guest blogger is channeling his inner Perez Hilton.)

Meryl!!!!!!
Meryl!!!!!!

Darlings,

The rain! It poured! But glamour prevailed.

Who looked fabulous: Sofia Loren. I don’t know how they got her waist so tiny, but her figure looked gorgeous, and her face was dewey.

Helen Mirren: those gentle, soft curls frame her face nicely, and her body looked fine. No 60-y/o woman can look like Megan Fox, and since hardly anybody, anywhere, at any age, looks like Megan Fox, why should your wife or girlfriend have to? Do most men look like Brad Pitt? Point made.

Meryl Streep: She’s a loose cannon at awards shows, though, style-wise. She can really do frumpy. But tonight, with the black, one shoulder number, it was hard to go wrong. Her waistline—not tiny, but, hey, she looked good, better than most people shopping at Trader Joes, and that is not only good enough—it’s plenty! (See above about double standard –the one that says women have to be gorgeous all the time, but men don’t have to.)

And it doesn’t matter if she’s had work done, which it doesn’t look like she has, but if she has, that’s the kind to get. Meryl’s like Dick Clark– he never got older until he up and had a stroke. Did you see him New Year’s Eve, from Times Square? He did the countdown for the ball dropping. Por Dios! Get the hook. Sure, he’s rich and owns the show, and is Ryan Seacrest’s boss, but when counting from 10 down to 1 is a challenge, it’s time to bow out.

Jeff Bridges’ wife of 32 years was radiant.

This is off message, but– Sigourney Weaver, who’s 60, hosted SNL last weekend, and her hairstyle was very Orange County, sorority girl 1960s, suburban 1970s. Matronly. Note to Sigourney: Update. As they say in Beverly Hills: it’s all about the hair.

Who’s not aging well?

Jessica Lange. I think it’s the genes. What can you do? Scandinavians have thin skin that wrinkles. Eastern Europeans, Latin’s, their skin stays younger longer. (See reference to Sofia Loren, above.)

Cher. Words cannot describe the sadness one feels when looking at now-Cher and remembering then-Cher. From international “It” girl to…. this? Memo to Cher: Why?

And speaking of why, the reason I hardly cover the men, e.g. Jeff Bridges, Paul McCartney, Martin Scorsese etc. is because most people, myself included, are more interested in the women’s fabulous dresses, big jewels, and sexy shoes. Men, on the other hand, mainly wear black tuxedoes and black dress shoes. Ho hum.

‘Nuf said.

A jolly good rollick was had by all.

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